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Fought Self

I had in mind that ‘Abdu’l-Bahá would give me the honor of … calling together the great conclave which would elect the Universal House of Justice. And I thought in His Will and Testament that that was probably what He was instructing be done.’ ‘But…instead of that I found that I was appointed the Guardian of the Cause of God… . “I didn’t want to be the Guardian. I knew what it meant. I knew that my life as a human being was over. I didn’t want it, and I didn’t want to face it. So as you’ll remember, I left the Holy Land. And I went up into the mountains of Switzerland, and I fought with myself until I conquered myself. Then I came back and I turned myself over to God, and I was the Guardian.”
(Shoghi Effendi’s remarks to Hand of the Cause of God Leroy Ioas)