Boundaries

He hath let loose the two seas, that they meet each other: Between them is a barrier which they overpass not.

Thou seest whatsoever is of me, while no one else can do this save Thee.

As for the tensions and difficulties arising between your teaching the Faith through music and your parallel need to be self-supporting, it is suggested that you yourself will need to set your own limits in this regard. We find, for example, the following guidance in a letter dated 26 February 1933 written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to an individual believer: The advice that Shoghi Effendi gave you regarding the division of your time between serving the Cause and attending to your other duties was also given to many other friends both by Bahá’u’lláh and the Master. It is a compromise between the two verses of the "Aqdas", one making it incumbent upon every Bahá’í to serve the promotion of the Faith and the other that every soul should be occupied in some form of occupation that will benefit society. In one of His Tablets Bahá’u’lláh says that the highest form of detachment in this day is to be occupied with some profession and be self-supporting. A good Bahá’í, therefore, is the one who so arranges his life as to devote time both to his material needs and also to the service of the Cause.

As to interpretations in the Bahá’í Writings of the Quranic verse cited in a Bahá’í marriage prayer, the verse in question is taken from the 55th chapter of the Qur'án, called 'The Merciful'. ‘Abdu’l-Bahá's prayer for marriage may itself be considered an elucidation of the Quranic verse. Used in this context the verse seems to suggest that although the two people - - 'two seas' - - are joined in matrimony, they do not merge together as they are two distinct human souls. It is interesting to note that in other Tablets ‘Abdu’l-Bahá gives different interpretations of the same verse. In one He likens the two seas to the material and spiritual worlds, with man and his rational soul like an interface between the two entities. In another Tablet ‘Abdu’l-Bahá gives the allegory of the two worlds of light and darkness, of truth and of error, of guidance and of perdition, to signify the two seas referred to in this verse of the Qur'án.

An awareness of appropriate personal boundaries may elude individuals with personality disorders and, depending on the characteristics and degree of the disorder, behaviors may range from extremes of aggressive intrusiveness to extremes of anxious and fearful withdrawal. Both require guidance concerning inappropriate behaviors and, in cases of intrusiveness, sometimes stronger measures.

If the person’s problems are affecting the community, the Assembly may wish to establish clear boundaries regarding his or her behavior in relation to itself, the community and, if necessary, to particular individuals within the community, with explicit consequences for violating the boundaries. If that approach is used, care should be taken to establish boundaries that are reasonable and consequences that are appropriate. If possible, this should be done in consultation and cooperation with the individual involved.

The Assembly may find it helpful to put the boundaries and consequences for violating them in the form of a written contract at the time of the agreement so that both the individual and the Assembly will have a copy. If possible, the actual wording should be agreed upon by both the individual and the Assembly. This will help to reduce confusion and minimize individual differences of perception in recalling what was decided when referring to the agreement in the future. Once consequences are specified, if the predetermined boundaries are violated, the Assembly must act to impose the consequences.