Regarding whether the bereaved family could say the prayer privately shortly after the death of their loved one, the Research Department has not located any text prohibiting this. This recitation would not, obviously, void the requirement of saying the prayer at the funeral service.

The National Spiritual Assembly of Canada, in an electronic mail message dated 11 June 1993, has asked a question about the timing, within the context of the funeral service, for saying the prayer for the dead. They ask if it should be recited at graveside, during the funeral service, or if the bereaved family could say it in private shortly after the death of their loved one. The Universal House of Justice, in letters written on its behalf, has clarified that: “...the Bahá’í congregational prayer for the dead must be recited at some time during the service before the burial takes place.”

The saying of this prayer is, indeed, the only essential element of a Bahá’í funeral service...

The Universal House of Justice has received your email of … seeking clarification on therecitation of the Prayer for the Dead, and we have been asked to provide you with the followingguidance.The correct way of reciting the Prayer for the Dead is as follows:Alláh-u-Abhá (once)We all, verily, worship God (19 times)Alláh-u-Abhá (once)We all, verily, bow down before God (19 times)Alláh-u-Abhá (once)We all, verily, are devoted unto God (19 times)Alláh-u-Abhá (once)We all, verily, give praise unto God (19 times)Alláh-u-Abhá (once)We all, verily yield thanks unto God (19 times)Alláh-u-Abhá (once)We all, verily, are patient in God (19 times)The passages should be repeated by one person. In carrying out the requirements for theprayer, one person reads or recites the passages from memory while the congregation stands.It is not the practice for those present to repeat any part of the prayer in unison.

Thus, the prayer must be recited at the funeral service, whether the service precedes going to the graveside or is held at the graveside and before the burial takes place.

We have your letter of 23 December 1966 asking whether it is permissible to change the gender of the pronoun in Bahá’í prayers for the dead when the deceased person is a woman.The prayer for the dead which is obligatory appears on page 260 of “Prayers and Meditations”. This prayer allows for a change in gender. Other prayers for the dead are optional,but if used they are to be used as revealed.

The Prayer for the Dead ... is the only Bahá’í obligatory prayer which is to be recited in congregation; it is to be recited by one believer while all present stand in silence (see note 19).Bahá’u’lláh has clarified that the Prayer for the Dead is required only when the deceased is an adult (Q&A 70), that the recital should precede the interment of the deceased, and that there is no requirement to face the Qiblih when saying this prayer (Q&A 85). Further details concerning the Prayer for the Dead are summarized in the Synopsis and Codification, section IV.A. 13.–14.